What do you think of when you hear someone say, “you sound like a broken record?”
A couple things come to mind for me: 1. The scratch in my Yellow Brick Road album that completely wrecked the song, Harmony; and 2. People who tell the same old story about their pathetic life over and over and over.
Recently, I was in a conversation with a friend where the broken record syndrome came into play, and I thought I’d write about it because many of us live with this form of self-sabotage and victimization in some way or another. By sharing I hope to inspire thoughtful reflection for how you show up in the world for yourself and others.
This person is very successful in some areas of life and in others, not so much. For instance, her business sense is remarkable, and she has a golden touch when it comes to investing and accumulating wealth. On the other hand, she struggles with her personal relationships and falls short in the areas of building and retaining loving relationships with her family and in certain social circles. She seems completely unaware of the advice she bestows on others, seldom follows that advice in her own life.
Isn’t it interesting how we see things in others, and fail to see the same things in ourselves?
She was going through her same old litany of complaints about how she receives no love and affection from her partner and that her kids disrespect and treat her unkindly. She “gives, gives, gives and feels completely unappreciated.” In another time, I would have jumped right on the bandwagon giving her all the co-dependent and heartfelt sympathy I could muster up. But this time, I chose to stay silent. I wondered, “why were we back at that old story again when we’ve rehashed it now for years?”
I’m not perfect by any stretch, and I have been known live in my old story of the past sounding like a broken record myself. And yes, we all get to vent from time to time, but when we choose to do nothing about the issue we’re venting about, it becomes annoying and sucks life out of everyone around us.
It’s one of the most common ways we hurt ourselves—by believing and repeating our own troubled stories hoping for sympathy or some other form of attention from anyone who will listen.
I can certainly relate! Me, the victim, lamenting about my horrible ex, or my lack of money, or this happened because of my parents, my boss, etc. I was repeating my sorry old stories over and over, focusing on everything on the outside and wondering why nothing ever changed.
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.”
~ Albert Einstein
When I decided to take a hard look in the mirror and fess up to the fact that all the emotions of lack, unworthiness, and shame were my own doing, I got busy and started seeking out as much help as I could. I read books, attended workshops, and eventually hired a coach to help me see where I was sabotaging my own life. It changed everything for me. I learned just how powerful having someone in my corner can be and I took inspired action to change.
I finally understood that my perception of how I was being treated by other people or my circumstances, in reality, was how I had been treating myself.
Ouch, that hurts!
Understanding that we don’t have control over what other people say and do is a major step in changing the way we choose to show up for ourselves and others. If you want people to treat you differently, treat yourself differently. How can we expect love and affection from others when we don’t give ourselves love and affection?
A skilled coach can help repair the Broken Record Syndrome. If you or someone you know could use some help rewriting their story, schedule a complimentary discovery call with me today.
Love and Light,
