What do you fear?
Ever wonder where that fear came from?
One fear that stands out for me is spiders. Yes, spiders.
I understand it’s not rational that a tiny little creature doesn’t really stand a chance against a grown up human person. But apparently, somewhere in my past, I learned spiders were scary and therefore I decided to be afraid of the little 8-legged, multi-eyed creepy critters.
My best guess is that this irrational fear was unintentionally passed on to me by my mother, who would go to great lengths to declare our house as a spider-free zone. One would think, having grown up living and working on a farm with crops, animals, and limited niceties, might have been a little braver in her approach to spiders. But not so much. Instead, she made sure the task of spider-annihilation was aptly assigned to my dad or some unsuspecting neighbor kid.
At a very young age, I learned spiders were dangerous, scary, and needed to be avoided at all costs. Then to reinforce this learned behavior, while in the 1st grade at St. Paul’s School in Yakima, a rumor surfaced that one the older kids had released an entire jar full of Black Widow spiders on the school ground; and, if bitten, a kid could count on sudden death right there on the playground. My schoolmates and I were terrified of recess for a week!
Now, don’t even get me started on how ridiculous this rumor was. First, how in the world did that kid get a hold of one Black Widow spider let alone an entire jar full of them? Really?
And secondly, everyone knows that Black Widow spiders are typically active at night, and that they avoid open spaces like concrete playgrounds filled with screaming kids at all costs.
Did this rationale convince me? No, no.
Then along came movies like the Giant Spider Invasion (1975); the attacking spiders in Jumanji (1995); the enormous spiders in Stephen King’s The Mist (2007); the toxic spiders starring in 8-Legged Freaks (2002); and the granddaddy of them all, Aragog in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002).
Case closed. Spiders are scary. I was convinced.
And as a good mother, what did I do? I passed this irrational fear right on to my kids, of course. So much so that they now have developed the same irrational fear of spiders.
When one of the big hairy brown Wolf Spiders that used to waltz into our house, stop in the kitchen for a bag of chips and knock over the dog dish before settling itself in the middle of the family room, I was known to have sprayed a half-can of RAID on the intruder to ensure it was completely coated in white foam (no hiding that way), then sucking him up with the vacuum and letting it run for the next 45 minutes while standing on the couch with the kids and the dog, leaving no question of the spider’s demise. Even into his high school years, my son and I would argue about whose turn it was to rid our dwelling of an uninvited arachnid who had made the dyer mistake of venturing into enemy territory.
And while this example may sound silly, it illustrates what happens in our little minds at the very youngest age that we senselessly carry into adulthood. The beliefs and perceptions we’ve picked up along the way are engrained into our subconscious minds that often lead to the way we behave in our adult lives. Many of these behaviors aren’t aligned with who we really are and what we truly desire, and yet they keep showing up, holding us back from creating healthy relationships, careers we love, and lifestyles that bring us joy.
These false beliefs from our past can trigger us to do or say stupid things, binge eat, overspend, stay in bad relationships, and keep us from achieving our goals. And we don’t even know these thoughts are rambling around in our heads messing around with our lives.
It’s only by investigating these uninvestigated thoughts and beliefs, deciding we desire something different, and are willing to take responsibility for our own happiness, do we begin to see how detaching from our past can catapult us into the present, and ultimately setting us free to create a new story for our future.
If you’re ready to let go of your old story and try something new, schedule a private, free, and confidential consultation with me today to explore your possibilities for evolving into your new and improved life.
Love and Light,
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Michèle Heffron is a certified life, relationship & divorce coach whose mission is to empower women through life transitions to discover their purpose and create the life they desire. Her work stems from her life experiences and the lessons learned while paving her own path to empowerment. Michèle lives in Bellevue, Washington and serves clients in all 50 states.
Learn more about Michèle: www.micheleheffron.com;
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