Here at Getting to the Heart, I’m not an advocate for divorce, I just happen to work with many people who are either going through or have gone through a one. Having been through two of my own divorces, I understand how incredibly upsetting the process can be. The legal system can seem daunting and unfair, and the emotional turmoil can spur on even the meekest among us to do and say things that are totally out of character for us.
I’m also not a big fan of negativity in general, but let’s face it, if you’re going through a divorce, it can feel like someone has sucked the life out of you (and usually that someone is your ex) and not surprisingly, you really want to blow off some steam or hit something!
Before going out and keying his new Mercedes, throwing all her clothes in a pile and burning them in the front yard, or making a violent scene at your kid’s soccer game, think about how you might feel afterward. I don’t mean while in the act or directly afterward; I mean when the police show up on your doorstep with a warrant for your arrest or you see yourself plastered all over social media in a video displaying your extremely bad behavior.
If you are going through a divorce and you’re finding it difficult to keep your emotions in check, consider alternative remedies to ease you back into some sort of balance.
- A Punching Bag – a friend of mine recently installed one on her back porch and takes her frustrations out on one every morning after coffee. She tells me it’s a game-changer!
- Creativity Cure – I turned to painting during my last divorce, but many people find coloring books specifically designs with frustration management in mind.
- Physical Activity – Get outside and walk or run or ride your bike with serious intention…and leave your earbuds at home so you’re not tempted to listen to music that pulls you backward into the abyss of a woman scorned.
- Amp up your self-care – Take yourself to a spa, get a massage or buy yourself a beautiful bouquet to brighten up your spirits.
- Dammit Doll – This one is relatively new to me but truly brilliant! If you can’t laugh and find some relief with this one, you might consider a serious reset before going out in public
- Divorce Gift – You can find an array of funny divorce gifts for yourself or someone you know (some not so tasteful) on Etsy.
- Volunteer Your Time – You don’t need to spend money to find alternative ways of redirecting your emotions. You can find dozens of volunteer opportunities in your community reminding yourself there’s more to life than your current situation.
- Vacation – Get out of town, even if just overnight at a hotel or Airbnb in the next town over. Taking yourself out of your environment can provide a different perspective on things…I suggest bringing a scented candle, a good book, a funny movie, popcorn, chocolate and champagne or whatever lights your fire!
Most importantly, remind yourself of who you want to be through this divorce and do whatever it takes to become that version of yourself. You’ll save so much emotional energy and possibly money by taking serious measures to manage your emotions during your divorce.
Need a little extra help? Call me today or schedule a free consultation
and together we’ll explore what’s next for you.
Love and Light,
Michèle