I know I’ve put other pieces out like this, but it keeps coming up so here’s a new take on the subject. Divorce is one of those life experiences where even the best-intentioned friends can find themselves suddenly becoming the person who says the wrong thing at the wrong time. If you’ve got a friend going through this, and you want to avoid any foot-in-mouth moments, here are ten things you probably should never say. 

1. “I never liked them anyway.”
   This one’s a classic. You think you’re showing loyalty, but instead, you’ve just put yourself on the “Things My Friend Didn’t Tell Me” list. Besides, if they patch things up (it happens!), you’ve just made future dinner parties a bit awkward. 
2. “You’re better off without them.”
   This might be true—eventually. But in the heat of the moment, when your friend is reeling from the shock, it’s a bit like telling someone who’s just dropped their ice cream cone that they didn’t need the calories anyway. 
3. “I saw this coming.”
   Nobody likes a Monday morning quarterback, especially when their whole life is up in the air. You might as well be saying, “Why didn’t you do something sooner?” Even if you saw the storm clouds on the horizon, now is not the time to play weather forecaster. 
4. “At least you didn’t have kids.”
   Ah, the silver lining approach. Except, there’s no silver lining big enough to cover the storm that is divorce. Kids or no kids, this is a messy, painful process, and minimizing it isn’t going to win you any points. 
5. “You should try online dating!”
   Yes, because that’s exactly what someone wants to do after their world just fell apart—jump into the shallow end of the dating pool. Let’s not rush things; there’s plenty of time for them to rediscover the joys of awkward first dates. 
6. “What happened?”
   Envision this: your friend is drowning, and instead of throwing them a life raft, you ask how they got into the water in the first place. Not exactly helpful. If they want to share the story, they will, but don’t turn into a detective looking for clues. 
7. “You’ll find someone better.”
   Even if they will, right now, your friend is likely in the “all love is doomed” phase. It’s like telling someone with a broken leg that they’ll run a marathon one day. Sure, it’s possible, but they’re not really in the mood for motivational speeches just yet. 
8. “Everything happens for a reason.”
   Unless you’re prepared to explain the grand plan behind their heartbreak, it’s best to skip this one. Sometimes, life is just hard, and trying to put a philosophical spin on it can feel a bit like adding insult to injury. 
9. “You’re so strong; you’ll get through this.”
   Your friend might look strong, but that doesn’t mean they want to be. Sometimes, they just want to be a puddle of tears, and that’s okay. Let them be weak without reminding them of how tough they need to be. 
10. “I know exactly how you feel.”
    Even if you’ve been through a divorce yourself, resist the urge to draw parallels. Every relationship is unique, and your friend’s experience is theirs alone. Instead of comparing war stories, just be there to listen. Sometimes, that’s all they need. 

So, if you find yourself talking to a friend going through a divorce, remember less is more. Offer a shoulder, a sympathetic ear, and maybe a glass of wine. Everything else can wait. 

Divorce can be a challenging and isolating experience, and having the right support can make all the difference. If you’re navigating the complexities of divorce or just need someone to talk to about the next steps, I’m here to help. Schedule a complimentary consultation with me today, and let’s work together to find the clarity and peace you deserve. 

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Love and Light,

Michèle

Attend an Outdoor Concert or Festival

Attend an Outdoor Concert or Festival– If you’re fortunate enough to live near venues that offer outdoor music, take advantage of it. Even smaller local festivals and farmers markets offer live music that can be enjoyed while strolling through the various vendors. There’s something about the way music carries in the wide-open space which adds a hint of romanticism to the sound wafting over the crowd. This one is high on my summertime selfcare list.

Taking care of yourself, both mentally and physically, is crucial as you navigate life transitions. You’re not alone, and there is a path forward, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. If you know someone that could use a little boost of Self Care, please feel free to share this tip with them by hitting the button below.

Linger Over Breakfast

Linger Over Breakfast – Pick your favorite little breakfast spot or host at home. Breakfast requires so little effort and yet, can be so fulfilling when you’re joined by your bestie or even a few of them. Laugh, reminisce, maybe even get a little weepy. The point is to get out of your normal routine and into a more pleasurable place where you can unwind and just be you.  

Taking care of yourself, both mentally and physically, is crucial as you navigate life transitions. You’re not alone, and there is a path forward, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. If you know someone that could use a little boost of Self Care, please feel free to share this tip with them by hitting the button below.

We’ve all heard the saying, “It takes two to tango,” but when a marriage hits the rocks, it’s tempting to point the finger at our partner and say, “It was definitely their fault.” It’s easier to dwell on what they did wrong than to take a good, long look in the mirror. But if we want to grow, heal, and create healthier relationships in the future, we must muster the courage to look within and own our part in the breakdown. 

Now, before you roll your eyes and think this is just another lecture on how you’re to blame for everything, let’s get one thing straight: Self-reflection isn’t about shaming yourself or shouldering all the responsibility. It’s about empowering yourself. When we acknowledge our role, we open the door to awareness, growth, and, most importantly, change. 

Consider this: What if your next relationship could be your best one yet, simply because you took the time to understand what went wrong in the last one? It’s not about revisiting the past to wallow in guilt; it’s about learning from it. 

Let’s say, for example, you realize that you tended to avoid conflict—I can certainly relate to this—sweeping issues under the rug until they piled up and turned into a full-blown mess. Recognizing this habit isn’t a ticket to beat yourself up; it’s an invitation to do things differently next time. Maybe you’ll learn to communicate your needs more openly, or perhaps you’ll work on developing a tolerance for those uncomfortable conversations that are crucial for any relationship. 

Self-reflection also allows us to see our blind spots—the things we might have been too close to notice. Did you prioritize your career over your marriage without realizing it? Did you expect your partner to read your mind instead of clearly expressing what you needed? These are the kinds of insights that self-reflection can bring to light, and with them comes the opportunity to grow and do better in the future. 

So, here’s the bottom line: We all have room for improvement, and that’s not a bad thing. By embracing self-reflection with a healthy dose of compassion (and a sprinkle of humor), we can break free from old patterns and pave the way for relationships that are more fulfilling and resilient. 

After all, the best way to avoid stepping on the same old landmines is to finally recognize where they’re lying in wait. And that’s a lesson worth learning—no matter how many times we’ve tangoed before. 

Ready to learn a new dance? Schedule your free consultation with me today and together we’ll discover a new dance.  

​Schedule Your Free Consultation Now

Love and Light,

Michèle

As I was journaling and listening to music this morning, Cristofori’s Dream by David Lanz drifted over my morning coffee spurring a memory from many years ago. I was sitting alone in my dining room in a house where I felt like a stranger. A stranger to myself. 

Who had I become? Where had the effervescent, vibrant, polished Michèle gone? 

I remember feeling desperate to become more than the life I was living—a housewife who ran the school auction and drove the carpool to whatever the sport of the season happened to be. Somehow my life, that once held so much promise, had eroded into a dismal pool of melted dreams where I felt stripped of my self-worth and exiled to a life unfulfilled.  

I needed to feel like I had some purpose, some independence where I was earning a little of my own money. Having had a career in fashion and news media prior to leaping into stay-at-home mom-hood, a friend convinced me to become a clothing rep for a line of high-end designer women’s apparel. Much to my husband’s protests, I embarked on what I now see as the first step in taking back my life. 

I remember feeling so hopeless in that dining room surrounded by things and furniture I didn’t love along with racks of beautiful clothing I was to sell to customers who didn’t show up. To say I felt a bit defeated would be an understatement. All I wanted to do was run away to a new life, at least a life where I felt free and alive again.  

As I reflected on this gloomy time in my life, I marveled at just how much had changed over the past 15 years. I could never have known, back then, that what would emerge from that seed of darkness would be a ray of pure light leading to an amazing new life that continues to unfold before my very eyes. Even with the stretches of what feels like seasons of drought, the light of goodness always comes back in such unexpected ways. I’m learning to let go and let it flow. 

For me, leaving a marriage that wasn’t working and launching into the great unknown to essentially start over was one of the scariest things I’ve ever done. And yet somehow, I knew, even when I was balled up on the floor sobbing over some heartbreaking pitfall, that God always had my back (and still does), and that I would be ok.  

If this resonates at all, I hope this memory of mine has been of service to you. If you’re ready to rediscover yourself, schedule a free consultation with me today and together we can explore what’s possible for you.  

​Schedule Your Free Consultation Now

Love and Light,

Michèle