A few nights ago, I was drawn into a documentary that chronicled the making of Jennifer Lopez’s recent film project spanning 20 years, 4 marriages, and reuniting with and marrying Ben Affleck, the long-time love of her life. She wrote an entire album revealing a very vulnerable heart and the emotional turbulence she felt in the years since their first engagement was abruptly canceled 3 days before their wedding day. I don’t follow a lot of celebrity gossip and barely recall her broken engagement to Ben years earlier but apparently if you’re a J-Lo fan, it was a thing.
The point of this story has nothing to do with her marriages, though I must admit, she’s a true testament of how resilience gives us a perspective for taking our experiences and using them as lessons learned to bounce forward to a better life.
The real point is that J-Lo was inspired to write her story, share it in film with the world, and through the process share her deepest and darkest moments as a human being trying to figure out life.
Oh, and did I mention the movie was going to cost A LOT of money? $30 million! And when not a single major studio would agree to fund the project and this concept, J-Lo remained undaunted in her determination to make this film happen. She stood up and said what any woman hell-bent on making her dream come to fruition would say “fine, I’ll pay for it myself”.
And when everyone around her said “No! You can’t use your own money to fund a project of this magnitude!”
At that moment, you could see her heart speaking and she said out loud “Bet on yourself, Jen”. I paused the movie and jotted that that important line in my journal.
Bet on yourself!
J-Lo risked everything by going against every other voice saying she was committing business suicide, she held her ground, believed in herself, and production was underway a few short weeks later.
This message rings so true for me and for so many people even in seemingly insignificant decisions we make every day. And when everyone around you is saying things like “are you crazy, what are you thinking?” or “who are you to go back to school at your age?” or “you can’t leave him, what will you do to support yourself?” or, my personal favorite “what do you know about running a business, making money, leaving your stable job…shouldn’t you be thinking of retirement?”
I ended up watching the remainder of the show and went on to watch the finished product. As a woman who has learned to listen to my heart, I can only say J-Lo’s brilliance shined through and her message was heard loud and clear. By betting on herself, she also learned to love herself—every part. From my own personal experience, I understand loving oneself—every part—is not always easy, especially when it includes the dark parts too.
When we let all the other voices go—past and present—and believe in ourselves and our dreams enough to do something about them, when we bet on ourselves and become titanium in our resolve to listen to our hearts, we can do wonderous things.
Don’t let other people stop you with their own fears and stories of what’s right for you. And if the overwhelm of all the other voices keeps you from following your heart, get help and get clear on your dreams and desires before you forget who you are and what you’re meant for.
Love and Light,
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Michèle Heffron is a certified life, relationship & divorce coach whose mission is to empower women through life transitions to discover their purpose and create the life they desire. Her work stems from her life experiences and the lessons learned while paving her own path to empowerment. Michèle lives in Bellevue, Washington and serves clients in all 50 states.
Learn more about Michèle: www.micheleheffron.com;
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