In his teachings, the great Lao Tzu said
“Simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures…Patience with both friends and enemies, you accord with the way things are.”
It is also said that patience is a virtue. And I suppose patience can be virtuous, but as I’ve gradually discovered, patience is essential if happiness is one’s primary goal in life.
The wisdom behind the words of this great teacher goes far beyond virtues and takes a deep dive into the wondrous world of the unknown, embracing the natural flow and flexibility of nature. This wisdom teaches us the importance of patience and trust in life’s unfolding, emphasizing the value of waiting for things to happen as they are meant to. It cautions against taking uninspired and immediate action driven by fear and anxiety, which can lead to further complications and confusion in already challenging situations. By aligning ourselves with the wisdom found in patience, we learn to navigate life’s uncertainties with grace and clarity, allowing for a more harmonious and fulfilling journey.
Think about how easy it is to lash out at someone who doesn’t agree with your point of view, or how quickly you react to your kids, your spouse, your co-workers when they don’t do or see something “your way?” By trying to control or force an outcome through overthinking, oversharing, or my personal favorite, by bolting or “taking your ball and going home because someone else is winning” you essentially block yourself and those around you from opening up to less stressful and more pleasurable ways of resolving issues.
Sure, it’s so much easier (and dare I say temporarily gratifying) to take immediate action by launching the first snarky comment, jumping to conclusions, trying to “fix” things/people, and clinging to uninvestigated perceptions as facts. In most cases, practicing patience yields a solution unfolding and being revealed in an unexpected way without all the angst and discomfort.
During my divorce, the initial wave of fear and anxiety pushed me towards hasty decisions, many of which have resulted in long-term and unfavorable consequences. Had I understood the wisdom of allowing life to unfold naturally, I would have paused and embraced the uncertainty, trusting that clarity would come in time. I don’t mean to say that patience would have been the solution to fixing my marriage, though it may have softened the blow dramatically.
Ultimately, clarity did come but only when I let go of my need to be “right” and began to see the path forward that had earlier been shrouded by the cloudiness of my own inability to exercise patience.
As it turns out, by adopting patience as an essential part of life—who I am—I discovered my purpose. A discovery I could never have found when I was pushing my way through the world trying to make things happen.
Love and Light,
Michèle