Divorce can feel like the emotional equivalent of running a marathon with a pebble in your shoe. It’s exhausting, painful, and by the end, you just want to scream. But hold on! Before you channel your inner Godzilla, let’s navigate this tricky path with some grace and maybe even a smile. Here’s a playful yet earnest guide to what you should never, ever do to your partner when going through a divorce.
- Don’t Play the Blame Game
“Who’s to blame for this divorce?” With this approach, everyone loses. Pointing fingers only deepens wounds. Instead, focus on constructive communication, moving through the process and taking a step back to acknowledge where you may have contributed to the destruction of your marriage.
- Avoid Airing Dirty Laundry on Social Media
Yes, we know, those cryptic Facebook posts are tempting. But before you post, remember that social media is not your personal diary and truly it just makes you look ugly. Vent to a close friend or a coach, not your 500 followers.
- Don’t Weaponize the Kids
Children are not pawns in your chess game—spare them from your inability to control yourself or badmouthing your ex. Your kids need love and stability, not to be caught in the crossfire. Keep them out of adult drama and prioritize their well-being.
- Say No to Spy Games
Hiring a private investigator or snooping through your partner’s email or phone might seem like a thrilling detective mission, but it only breeds distrust and more heartache. Respect privacy and set healthy boundaries for yourself. If you think your privacy is being breached, protect your technology by changing your passwords, separating accounts, and disabling tracking on your devices ASAP.
- Don’t Empty the Bank Account
Draining the joint account might feel like a quick win, but it’s a surefire way to escalate tensions. Be fair and transparent about finances and seek professional guidance for a clean break. This is so important because even if you don’t think he or she deserves anything, the fact is that everyone needs financial support during such a difficult time.
- Resist the Urge to Trash Talk
We all know those people who just can’t stop talking about how they’ve been wronged by their partner at every opportunity to share. Gossiping about your partner to friends or family or the poor clerk in the grocery store might offer temporary relief, but it ultimately poisons relationships and can come back to bite you. Speak kindly or not at all.
- Avoid Dating Too Soon
Rebounding can complicate an already tangled web of emotions and you get yourself into the similar situation with a person who has many of the same behavioral traits as your ex. Give yourself time to heal and rediscover who you are and who you need to be before jumping back into the dating pool.
- Don’t Make Major Life Changes
Getting involved in a new romantic relationship, moving to a new city or switching careers right in the middle of a divorce or taking on a major project can add unnecessary stress. Focus on stability and take life one step at a time.
- Skip the Petty Revenge
Hiding the TV remote, “accidentally” forgetting to feed the fish, or other acts of minor (or major) sabotage might seem funny in the moment but ultimately damage any hope of an amicable separation.
- Don’t Ignore Self-Care
Amidst all the chaos, it’s easy to neglect yourself. Prioritize your mental and physical health. Take up a new hobby, exercise, or simply spend time with loved ones who lift you up.
Navigating the Storm with Grace
Divorce is a tumultuous journey, but it doesn’t have to be a battle. It is possible to handle divorce with grace and compassion. It takes self-respect and a whole lot of patience, but it can be done!
In the end, the goal is to part ways with as much peace and respect as possible. It’s not just about surviving the storm but coming out on the other side ready to embrace a new beginning. So, keep calm, stay kind, and remember there’s a brighter future waiting for you.
Love and Light,
Michèle