If you’re at the point of looking for a divorce attorney, you’re probably feeling a bit overwhelmed. Divorce is complicated, emotional, and let’s face it—it’s not something anyone ever truly expects to go through.Choosing the right attorney can feel daunting, especially when you know your divorce comes with its own unique set of challenges. You’re not just looking for someone who’s “good,” but someone who’s the right fit for you.
As a divorce coach, I’ve worked alongside many clients during this process, and I’ve seen how finding the right attorney can make a world of difference. Divorce is a personal journey, and the attorney you choose should align with your needs, not just offer a one-size-fits-all approach. So, how do you go about finding someone who’s more than just a lawyer on paper? Here’s how I guide my clients through the process.
1. Start by Getting Referrals from Trusted Professionals
While family and friends often mean well, their recommendations might not always align with your specific needs. Generally, I suggest starting by asking for referrals from professionals in or near the legal world. Your coach, accountant, financial advisor, or even a trusted attorney from another field might have a better sense of who’s really experienced in family law. They’ll likely know which attorneys consistently deliver solid outcomes and handle cases with both expertise and care.
2. Choose Someone Who Specializes in Family Law
It’s crucial that the attorney you select focuses on family law, not someone who splits their time between estate planning, criminal defense, or other practice areas. Divorce can be complex and involves a lot of moving parts—financial assets, custody arrangements, property division, and more. A specialist in family law knows the ins and outs of these issues and will have a deeper understanding of how to approach your particular situation. Ask how much of their practice is dedicated solely to divorce cases and family law to make sure they’re the right fit. Also ask how, if at all, they collaborate with other divorce professionals—i.e. coaches, real estate professionals, wealth and/or tax advisors.
3. Interview at Least Three Attorneys
I typically advise clients is to meet with a variety of attorneys—at least three—before making a decision. Consultations are an opportunity to gauge not just their expertise, but how well they communicate and whether their approach resonates with you. Some consultations might be free, while others come with a fee, but don’t let the cost be the deciding factor. Sometimes paying for that initial advice is well worth it if it provides you with actionable insights.
When you’re meeting with different attorneys, it’s important to also pay attention to the questions they ask you. Are they probing thoughtfully into your specific situation, or are they just offering generic responses? A good attorney will want to know the details of your life—financially, emotionally, and legally—and how they can best support you.
4. Bring a List of Questions and Be Transparent
Walking into a consultation prepared with a list of questions is a great way to take control of the conversation. Ask about their approach to handling cases like yours, their experience with custody or financial complexities, their communication style, and their fee structure. But also, be honest about your situation, even if some details feel uncomfortable to share. Many women, for example, feel embarrassed about not knowing their full financial picture or nervous about the legal process itself. That’s completely normal—and the right attorney will put you at ease, not make you feel inadequate for what you don’t know. If they brush off your concerns or leave you feeling uncomfortable, it’s okay to keep looking. You need someone who makes you feel respected and heard.
5. Don’t Rush Your Decision
After meeting with a few attorneys, take a step back to reflect. The first one you meet might seem like a perfect match, but after a few more consultations, you may have a different perspective. Avoid making a rushed decision based on who tells you what you want to hear or who offers the lowest fees. Divorce is a big, complex life change, and you want someone who’s realistic and can guide you with clarity and care.
6. Support Beyond Legal Strategy
While your attorney will focus on the legal aspects of your divorce, like asset division, custody arrangements, and financial negotiations, there’s more to this journey than just the paperwork. This is a significant life transition—one that affects your emotional well-being, your sense of self, and your future. That’s where my role as a divorce coach comes in. I work with you on navigating the personal side of divorce, helping you process the emotional weight of it all, and guiding you toward a new chapter in life.
An attorney handles the legal road map, but it’s important to have someone who can help you stay grounded and emotionally resilient through it all. Together, we can make sure you’re supported every step of the way.
Love and Light,
Michele
Ready to Take the Next Step?
Finding the right attorney is just one piece of the puzzle. If you’d like additional support as you navigate this difficult time, I’m here to help. With years of experience in coaching clients through divorce, I can help you feel empowered and clear on your next steps. Schedule a free consultation today, and let’s start building the life you’re meant for—together.