For a long time, I was convinced life was happening to me. People let me down, situations felt unfair, and no matter how hard I tried, it seemed like I was always scrambling to keep up. And I had proof—real, tangible reasons why my struggles were someone else’s fault. If they had just been different, if circumstances had just worked out the way they shouldhave, I wouldn’t have been left picking up the pieces.
That belief felt safe. It made sense.
And it kept me completely stuck.
Then I came across Dr. Wayne Dyer’s words: “Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.” And to be honest, at first, I resisted it. Because if that was true, it meant the power wasn’t in them changing—it was in me changing how I saw things. And I wasn’t sure I was ready for that kind of responsibility.
Blame Feels Comfortable—But It’s a Trap
Let’s be real: blaming others can be oddly satisfying. It lets us off the hook. It gives us a clear villain in our story. But here’s the thing—when we see ourselves as just the recipientof what life hands us, we also give up our ability to change anything. If we’re waiting for someone else to be different before we can be happy, we could be waiting forever.
The real shift happened for me when I started asking a different question: What if this isn’t just about what’s happening to me, but about how I’m seeing it?
That person who hurt me? Maybe they weren’t just cruel—maybe they were operating from their own wounds. That season of my life that felt like failure? Maybe it was actually preparing me for something better. The moments I thought had broken me? Maybe they were the very things shaping me into someone stronger, wiser, and—dare I say it—even more open-hearted.
I will say that once I started shifting my perspective, things did change. Not overnight, not without effort, and definitely not without many moments of frustration—but they changed. In truth, I changed (and continue to learn and grow every day).
Growth Happens When We Stop Going It Alone
I won’t pretend I figured this all out by myself. I had help. I needed people who could call me out (lovingly) when I was slipping into my old narratives. I needed guidance to see beyond my own blind spots. And having the right support made all the difference. Because the truth is, we can only take ourselves so far before we need someone to hold up a mirror and say, Hey, have you considered looking at this a little differently?
So if you’re feeling stuck, frustrated, or just plain exhausted by the way things seem to be going, consider this: What if nothing outside of you has to change for you to feel different? What if the clarity, the peace, the strength you’re searching for isn’t waiting for the world to cooperate, but waiting for you to see it in a new way?
That shift—small as it may seem—is where everything begins. And once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
And that, my friend, is where real transformation starts.
Love and Light,
Michèle Heffron
Getting to the Heart – Who You Are and What You’re Meant For
When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. If you’re ready to shift from feeling stuck to feeling empowered, let’s explore what’s possible together. Schedule a complimentary consultation today—your transformation starts with a new perspective.
