Divorce. The word alone can feel like a punch to the gut, can’t it? Whether you saw it coming or it hit you like a wild wave, the emotional aftermath is often a whirlwind of grief, confusion, and, yes, anger. Anger is a tricky beast—it’s a natural response to feeling hurt and betrayed, but it can also be a heavy anchor, weighing you down when you’re trying to sail towards a brighter future. 

Let’s face it, anger during and after a divorce is a common experience. Your dreams, your routines, even your Netflix queue—all suddenly upended. It’s like having the rug pulled out from under your feet while you’re carrying a tray full of delicate China. But here’s the thing: while anger is a normal emotion, clinging to it can prevent you from moving forward. 

The Unexpected Friend: Anger 

Initially, anger might feel like an old friend. It gives you energy, a sense of purpose, and something to focus on. It’s a powerful emotion that tells you, “Hey, something’s not right here!” But like that friend who always overstays their welcome, anger can start to do more harm than good if you let it linger. 

It’s like trying to drive to a beautiful destination, but you’ve got the parking brake on. That’s what holding onto anger feels like. You can push the pedal to the metal all you want, but you’re not going anywhere fast. And let’s be honest, it’s exhausting! 

Letting Go: Easier Said Than Done 

So, how do you let go of anger? It’s not like you can just flip a switch and suddenly be all Zen. It’s a process, and it starts with acknowledging your feelings. Give yourself permission to be angry. Yell into a pillow, write an angry letter (that you never send), or belt out a power ballad in the shower. Recognizing your anger is the first step in processing it. 

But don’t stop there. Understanding the root of your anger is crucial. Are you angry because you feel betrayed? Hurt? Scared? Digging deeper into these emotions can help you address the underlying issues. Remember, anger is often a secondary emotion, masking more vulnerable feelings. 

The Power of Perspective 

This is where the magic happens—changing your perspective. It’s like looking at a messy painting up close and then stepping back to see the whole picture. Yes, your relationship ended, and that’s painful, but it’s not the end of your story. This could be the beginning of a new chapter filled with possibilities you never imagined. 

A professional coach can be incredibly valuable during this process. Think of them as your personal guide, helping you navigate the choppy waters of divorce. They offer an objective perspective, helping you see things differently and find peace. With their support, you can transform your anger into acceptance, and eventually, into growth. 

The Coaching Connection 

Working with a coach provides a safe space to explore your feelings without judgment. They can help you set goals, develop coping strategies, and rediscover your strengths. It’s like having a co-pilot who’s been through the storm and knows how to chart a course to calmer seas. 

Coaches can also introduce you to techniques such as mindfulness and emotional regulation, which can be game changers in managing anger. Through guided exercises, you learn to observe your thoughts and feelings without getting swept away by them. It’s like upgrading from a rickety rowboat to a sturdy sailboat—you’re still on the water, but you’re much better equipped to handle the waves. 

Finding the Silver Lining 

Letting go of anger doesn’t mean you have to forgive and forget. It means making a conscious choice to prioritize your peace and well-being. It’s about reclaiming your power and focusing on the things that bring you joy. It’s the emotional equivalent of clearing out your closet—you’re making space for new, beautiful things. 

So, next time you feel that familiar surge of anger, take a deep breath and remind yourself that you’re in control. It’s okay to feel angry, but don’t let it drive the bus. Embrace the journey of letting go and consider inviting a professional coach along for the ride. They might just have the perfect map to guide you towards a future filled with peace, growth, and yes, even a little bit of laughter. 

Remember, you’re not just surviving this storm—you’re learning to dance in the rain. And who knows? Maybe the next chapter of your life will be the best one yet. 

If you’re ready to explore how a coach might help you in your situation,

schedule a free consultation with me today.

Love and Light,

Michèle

Invite a friend out to Walk

Invite a friend out to Walk – I’m all for solo walks to clear your head, but walking with someone can be a lovely change of pace! Being able to chat as you take in your surrounds is refreshing. I have a couple of girlfriends who live close by and sometimes an impromptu invitation for a walk gives us the opportunity to catch up, get some exercise, and simply stay in connection with one another.

Taking care of yourself, both mentally and physically, is crucial as you navigate life transitions. You’re not alone, and there is a path forward, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. If you know someone that could use a little boost of Self Care, please feel free to share this tip with them by hitting the button below.

Unicorns, Cauldrons, and Control: Why It’s Time to Focus on You 

Are you a “Fixer”? We all know one, in fact, chances are you’ve done your fair share of trying to fix, change, or control someone in order to make them fit into your life. You know the drill, “If only they would change, everything would be perfect.” Or “If only his kids or his ex-wife wasn’t so needy, our life would be blissful.”  

I have a friend who blows through men like the Antarctic wind. She seems to have no problem attracting them, but within a few weeks of their meeting, it becomes apparent to her that “he” simply needs to change if he’s going to meet her imagined standards.  

As the Supreme Fixer, she rushes in on her White Unicorn to single-handedly pull him out of the abyss of misery he’s so clearly in to begin fueling the cauldron of chaos that will magically transform him into the man she thinks he needs to be (ok, maybe the White Unicorn and the cauldron are a stretch, but you get the point).   

Here’s the real secret she and all of us other “Fixers” in the world seem to miss: Trying to change someone else is arrogant and pointless. The true power lies in focusing on yourself and your own patterns. 

The Control Freak’s Dilemma: Spoiler, It’s Futile! 

Trying to change someone else is like attempting to control the tide. People are complex beings with their own journeys and struggles. Your energy is precious and expending it on molding someone else is not only exhausting but also fruitless. 

Imagine what would happen if you redirected that energy towards your own growth. That’s where the real transformation begins, and it’s where you’ll find the peace and fulfillment you’re seeking. 

 Schedule a Free Consultation

Reflect, Don’t Deflect: Own Your Stuff 

Self-reflection is one of the most powerful tools at your disposal. It’s akin to holding up a mirror to your soul, examining your own behaviors, patterns, and triggers. It’s not always comfortable, in fact I know it’s not, but it’s incredibly rewarding. 

Ask yourself, “Why do I feel the need to change this person? What am I hoping to achieve?” Often, this need arises from a place of control, fear, or avoidance of our own issues. By digging deep and being honest with yourself, you uncover the root of your feelings and begin to understand the true source of your dissatisfaction. 

Actions Speak Louder: Show, Don’t Tell 

True leadership is about setting an example, not dictating change. When you focus on your own growth and development, you naturally inspire others to follow suit. Your actions speak louder than any words, and your journey of self-improvement becomes a beacon for those around you. 

When you witness someone thriving and living authentically, doesn’t it motivate you to do the same? Your journey can have a similar impact on others. By embodying the change, you wish to see, you become a catalyst for transformation. 

Drop the Drama: Freedom in Letting Go 

Letting go of the need to change someone else is incredibly liberating. It’s like shedding a heavy burden you’ve been carrying for far too long. This act of release allows you to focus on what truly matters—your own growth and happiness. 

Letting go doesn’t mean you stop caring about others. It means you start caring in a healthier, more constructive way. You accept people for who they are and focus on creating a life that brings you joy and fulfillment. This shift in focus opens space for new opportunities and experiences that align with your true self. 

It Starts with You: Your Growth Impacts Others 

Personal growth is contagious. When you focus on improving yourself, everything around you begins to shift. Your energy changes, your perspective broadens, and you become a magnet for positivity and growth. Others are naturally drawn to this energy, and your journey inspires them to embark on their own paths of self-discovery and improvement. 

By committing to your own growth, you inadvertently uplift those around you, creating an environment that fosters collective well-being and development. 

Adventure Awaits: Embrace Your Path 

Remember, this is a journey, not a destination. Embrace the ups and downs, the growth and setbacks. Each step you take towards focusing on yourself brings you closer to a more fulfilling and authentic life. In doing so, you create a ripple effect that touches everyone around you. 

So, let go of the need to fix or change others. Focus on your own beautiful journey. Trust in the process and watch as the magic unfolds. You’ve got this, and I’m cheering you on every step of the way. 

Your key to change is waiting. Schedule a consultation with me today and

learn how to unlock your door to transformation.

Divorce can carve a deep chasm of loneliness in your heart, making each day feel like an uphill battle. But remember, this is just a fleeting chapter in your story. Here are eight unique steps to help you cope with loneliness during and after divorce, each offering a new perspective to lift your spirits. 

1. Express Your Feelings Creatively

Channel your emotions into a creative outlet. Try writing poetry, painting abstract art, or even cooking elaborate meals. Expressing your feelings through art can be incredibly therapeutic, allowing you to externalize your pain in a beautiful and tangible way. 

2. Find Solitude in Motion

Instead of just walking in nature, try something that involves more rhythm and movement, like dancing in your living room, joining a community tai chi group, or taking a spontaneous road trip to a place you’ve never been. Movement can help shake off the gloom and reinvigorate your spirit. 

3. Learn a New Skill

Dive into something completely out of your comfort zone. Take up woodworking, learn a new language, or try a Master Class in a subject outside your norm. The process of learning and mastering a new skill can provide a sense of accomplishment and distract you from feelings of loneliness. 

4. Host a ‘Loneliness Dinner Party’

Invite friends over and ask everyone to bring a dish and a story about a time they felt lonely and how they overcame it. Sharing stories in a warm, supportive environment can build deeper connections and remind you that everyone faces loneliness at some point. Note: This is not a bitch session! 

5. Volunteer for a Cause

Find a cause you’re passionate about and volunteer your time. Whether it’s helping at an animal shelter, mentoring a child, or participating in community clean-up efforts, giving back can fill the void of loneliness with a sense of purpose and connection. 

6. Embrace Mindfulness and Meditation

Explore the world of mindfulness and meditation in unconventional ways. Try mindful cooking, where you focus on every texture, smell, and taste, or meditate with a group online. These practices can ground you in the present moment and bring a sense of calm to your mind. 

7. Transform Your Space with Meaning

Revamp your living space with meaningful items. Create a memory wall with photos and mementos that make you smile, set up a cozy reading nook, or fill your home with plants that you can nurture and grow. Making your space reflect your journey and personality can create a haven of comfort. 

8. Engage in Digital Detox and Tech-Free Days

Disconnect from the digital world occasionally. Spend a day without screens and engage in activities that don’t involve technology—read a physical book, write a letter to a friend, or go stargazing. A tech-free day can refresh your mind and help you reconnect with yourself on a deeper level. 

A Moment in Time 

Remember, the loneliness you feel now is just a fleeting moment in your life’s tapestry. Seasons change, and so will this. By embracing these unique steps, you’re not just coping—you’re actively weaving new threads of joy, purpose, and connection into your life. Hold on to the hope that brighter days are ahead, waiting to welcome you with open arms. 

In the depths of loneliness, discover your resilience. You are far stronger than you realize, and this journey, though challenging, is leading you towards a future filled with peace and fulfillment. Be gentle with yourself and trust that each step you take is a step closer to the light. 

To learn more about how to effectively learn how to cope with your situation, schedule a free consultation with me today and together we can explore your path forward. 

Love and Light,

Michèle

Send a Message

Send a Message – We all have those people in our lives we love and care for and yet sometimes months or even years can go by without talking. Surprise them. Send them a meaningful text message just to let them know you’re thinking of them. Chances are they’ll be happy to hear from you and it won’t be weird. Reconnecting with old friends, even just briefly, can feel really good.

Taking care of yourself, both mentally and physically, is crucial as you navigate life transitions. You’re not alone, and there is a path forward, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. If you know someone that could use a little boost of Self Care, please feel free to share this tip with them by hitting the button below.