Defending Your Excuses Won’t Bring You Happiness!

Defending Your Excuses Won’t Bring You Happiness!

Ah, the art of excuse-making. If there were an Olympic event for it, many of us would be gold medalists. We craft our reasons, shape them into unassailable truths, and guard them as if our very lives depended on it. Excuses are like a cozy blanket on a cold day. They keep us safe from the harsh realities of potential failure, judgment, or disappointment. They also serve as a convenient shield against the unknown. But as comforting as they are, excuses also keep us stuck, preventing us from reaching our true potential.

The Comfort of Excuses

We’ve all done it. “I don’t have time,” “I’m too old,” “I’m not smart enough,” “That’s just the way I am.” These excuses feel so real and valid that we don’t even question them. Yet, these same excuses are the barriers that keep us from achieving our dreams and expanding our potential. They are the stories we tell ourselves to justify staying in our comfort zones, avoiding the discomfort of growth and change.


Albert Einstein famously said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Yet, how often do we find ourselves stuck in the same patterns, hoping that circumstances will magically change while we remain the same? “


The Fear of Failure

One of the most pervasive excuses is the fear of failure. “What if I try and fail?” This fear keeps us from taking risks and pursuing our true passions. It convinces us that it’s safer to stay where we are, even if we’re unhappy, rather than risk the possibility of failure. But the truth is, failure is not the end—it’s a step on the road to success. Every successful person has failed numerous times. They don’t let failure define them; they let it teach them and propel them forward.

The Blame Game

Another common excuse is blaming others for our circumstances. “If only my partner were more supportive,” “If my boss would recognize my potential,” “If my friends were more encouraging.” It’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that our happiness and success depend on others changing. But this mindset strips us of our power and places our destiny in someone else’s hands. Personal responsibility means taking ownership of our lives and choices. It means recognizing that while we can’t control others, we can control our reactions and decisions.

The Myth of Perfection

Perfectionism is another sneaky excuse that keeps us from moving forward. “I’ll start when I’m ready,” “I need more training,” “I have to get everything perfect first.” This excuse paralyzes us, keeping us from taking action. The reality is, there will never be a perfect time, and we will never be perfectly ready. Growth happens when we step out despite our imperfections and learn along the way.

Shifting Perspectives

To break free from the cycle of excuses, we must shift our perspectives. Instead of seeing challenges as threats, we can view them as opportunities for growth. Instead of waiting for others to change, we can focus on what we can change within ourselves. Instead of fearing failure, we can embrace it as a necessary part of the journey toward success.

Conclusion: From Excuses to Empowerment

Defending our excuses is natural, but it’s also limiting. By recognizing and challenging these excuses, we can open ourselves up to new possibilities and growth. It’s not always easy—trust me, I’ve been there—but it’s worth it. So, the next time you catch yourself defending an excuse, take a moment to ask, “What if?” What if you could achieve that dream? What if you could overcome that fear? What if you could become the person you’ve always wanted to be?

Remember, life is too short to be spent hiding behind excuses. Embrace the challenge, laugh at the missteps, and keep pushing forward. After all, the only thing standing between you and your dreams is the story you’re telling yourself. Make it a good one.

Schedule a free consultation with me today and together we’ll explore
how to go from “Why me?” to “Why not me?”

Feel free to share this with your colleagues and friends. Let’s keep each other inspired and motivated to break free from our excuses and live the lives we truly desire.

Love and Light,

Michèle

 

 

Self Care Saturday with Michele Heffron

Self Care Saturday with Michele Heffron

Nature Walk

It’s June and a good time to go out to savor the beauty of nature and the outdoors. Breathe in the air and think about all the wonders in your life. Even if you’re in the midst of something unpleasant or are surrounded by concrete and noisy traffic, step out of your normal and give yourself love, gratitude, and appreciation.

Taking care of yourself, both mentally and physically, is crucial as you navigate life transitions. You’re not alone, and there is a path forward, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. If you know someone that could use a little boost of Self Care, please feel free to share this tip with them by hitting the button below.

 

5 Things I Wish I’d Known Before My Divorce

5 Things I Wish I’d Known Before My Divorce

Going through a divorce can feel like having the ground swept out from under your feet. I know because I’ve been there—twice in fact! As a life and divorce coach now, I look back and realize there were several things I wish I had known before my own divorce experiences. These insights might help you navigate this challenging time with a bit more clarity and strength. And yes, a touch of humor – because if you can’t laugh about it, you’ll cry!

1. It’s Okay to Feel Everything

One of the biggest lessons I learned was that it’s okay to feel every emotion that comes your way. Anger, sadness, relief, confusion – they all have their place in the healing process. I remember trying to stay strong for everyone else, putting on a brave face while I was breaking inside. If I could go back, I would allow myself to feel without judgment, understanding that these emotions are a natural response to a significant life change. Also, who knew a pint of ice cream could be both a comfort and a therapist?

2. Professional Support is Invaluable

While friends and family mean well, they often can’t provide the unbiased support you need during a divorce. I wish I had sought the guidance of a professional coach and/or a therapist earlier in the process. These professionals can offer tools and perspectives that loved ones simply can’t. They help you see the situation from different angles and equip you with strategies to move forward healthily. Plus, they won’t give you the side-eye when you bring up the same issue repeatedly – they actually encourage it!

3. Financial Literacy is Empowering

Divorce can be financially draining, and not understanding your financial situation can add to the stress. I regret not educating myself about our finances sooner. Understanding your financial standing, including assets, debts, and future financial needs, is crucial. It’s empowering to know where you stand and to plan your financial future with confidence. Think of it like learning to navigate a new city – you might get lost a few times, but soon enough, you’ll know all the shortcuts and best coffee shops.

4. Self-Care is Non-Negotiable

In the chaos of a divorce, self-care often takes a back seat. I wish I had prioritized my well-being more. Taking time for yourself is not selfish; it’s essential. Whether it’s through exercise, meditation, or simply enjoying a hobby, self-care helps maintain your mental and emotional health. Looking back, those moments of self-care were when I found the strength to keep going. Treat yourself like the royalty you are – bubble baths and tiaras optional but highly recommended.

5. Life Does Go On

During my divorce, it felt like the end of the world. But I’ve come to realize that life goes on, and there is joy and fulfillment on the other side. It’s important to hold on to hope and believe in a future where you can be happy and whole again. Embrace the uncertainty and trust that this chapter will lead to growth and new opportunities. Think of it as your very own season finale – the plot twists are wild, but the next season promises exciting new characters and adventures. Post-divorce life can be an exhilarating journey where you get to create the life of your dreams. It’s your chance to rediscover yourself, pursue passions, and build a life that truly reflects who you are and what you what you’re meant for.

As a life, relationship, and divorce coach, my journey through divorce has shaped the way I support my clients. I understand the pain and confusion, but I also know the potential for growth and renewal. If you’re going through a divorce, know that it’s a process, and it’s okay to seek help. You don’t have to go through it alone, and there’s a future waiting for you that’s brighter than you can imagine – and maybe even a little bit funnier too.

​Book your free consultation today ​

​and discover ​your pathway to a better life.​

Love and Light,

Michèle

 

Transform your life from fine to FABULOUS

Transform your life from fine to FABULOUS

Earlier this year, I wrote a short email entitled “Why Settle for FINE When You can Have FABULOUS?” After the story was published, I received some awesome feedback from several people and few asked if I would share a few tips on how to go about becoming FABULOUS (thank you to those of you who read my emails and for your feedback).

So, here’s a little list of what I came up with as recently posted on the Divorced Girl Smiling website.


10 Things you can do to transform your life from fine to FABULOUS:

Going from fine to FABULOUS is meant to be fun, fulfilling, and all about YOU. This means putting YOU first. You may have been taught that putting yourself first in line is being selfish, self-centered, and immoral. Who in your life told you that? What did they base this unhelpful piece of unsolicited advice on? It’s time to throw that old nonsense out the window and step into your FABULOUSNESS. So, let’s adjust your thinking and dive into a few of my personal favorites for moving from fine to FABULOUS.

  • SELFLOVE It all starts here, and I believe it’s impossible to live a truly FABULOUS life without establishing a healthy sense of selflove. Selflove is not a feeling, it’s a way of life, it’s what we do for ourselves daily to remember who we are and what we’re meant for. Selfcare is an expression of selflove meaning you do and say things to generate an authentic sense of honoring YOU. It may come in the form of creating affirmations to remind yourself of how incredibly loved you are; it may come in the form of setting and enforcing healthy boundaries with people around you; and it takes practice, especially when a practice of selflove was never taught to you.

  • MEDITATION I usually get a lot of eye-rolling around this one. I wouldn’t even bother listing meditation or any of my tips unless I have personally implemented these practices into my FABULOUS life. Meditation has been around for a very long time, and it’s widely known that mindfulness meditation can generate a sense of awareness, peacefulness, and a calming demeanor. Certain types of meditation are backed by scientific evidence of mind and body- altering elements that literally can change a person’s life. If you’re not accustomed to meditation practice, start small. Just 5 minutes in the morning to let your mind be still and listen to whatever comes up for you. Setting a timer can be helpful and playing soft background music is a good place to start. Gradually add more time as until you get to 15 or 20 minutes. If you really want to take a deep dive here, I have many resources and personal favorites I’m happy to share. You can also find many resources online and in various apps on your phone. Start today and trust me, FABULOUS things will start happening in your life you never saw coming.

  • GRATITUDE – Even if you’ve heard this before, you may not be practicing it daily. I’m going to let you in on a little secret…Gratitude is the bomb! Have gratitude for everything, the good, the not so good, and even the downright ugly. Gratitude is a gift we give and receive all at that same time. According to A Course in Miracles, “to give and to receive are one in the same.” Think about it; you truly don’t have one without the other. Each morning, before you check your texts or social media, take a few minutes to express your gratitude for the people in your life (even those who are there to teach you something), the comfort of your bed, the smell of coffee brewing, or simply for the fact that you’re still breathing. Having an attitude of gratitude can quickly shift a bad mood into one of appreciation and joy. And what’s more FABULOUS than the feeling of joy?

  • REWRITE YOUR STORY – Get yourself a blank notebook or journal, one that looks and feels special to you. Start writing. This can be in the form of a daily journal; a place to spill out your feelings, to write out your gratitude, goals, affirmations, or your story. This is for your eyes only unless you choose to share. If the story you tell yourself solicits the feeling of anger, pain, shame, or makes you feel like a victim (certainly not FABULOUS), use this beautiful book to rewrite your story, to create a better future for yourself, making you the most FABULOUS version of you you’ve ever known. If you don’t feel comfortable writing, especially when it comes to heartfelt feelings, just try jotting down a sentence or two each day. After time, you’ll become more comfortable with this life-changing practice, and in a snap, you will become that new and improved version of yourself in real life.

  • MOVE YOUR BODY – Your journey from fine to FABULOUS must include some form of body movement. Your body craves it and deserves it! This doesn’t mean you need to hit the gym or start yoga practice unless that’s what brings you joy. It simply means do something. Get outside for a walk around the block or your favorite trail. Get outside and breathe in some fresh air and if possible, enjoy the sounds of nature, give yourself this gift of time. If weather conditions or city living makes walking outdoors difficult, find another outlet. I have a friend who started taking Salsa lessons and is hooked! Another friend started taking Pickleball lessons at her local YMCA and has developed a whole new circle of playful “Picklers” and never misses the opportunity to play. And still another, gathered a group of work buddies who dedicate their lunch hours to walking together three times a week.

  • CELEBRATE – Every little win in life moves us closer to FABULOUS. Each time you make a little progress, establish a ritual of celebration. The changes may seem small and incremental, but honestly, if you make the non-negotiable decision to get yourself out of the ho-hum feeling of fine to see just how FABULOUS life can get, you will begin to experience life in a much different way almost immediately. And when you do, it’s time to celebrate you. This can be anything from expressing gratitude, picking a flower from the garden, treating yourself to something special or going big and taking a trip to get away from your everyday surroundings.

  • BUBBLES & BATH – Create the feeling of a luxury spa in your own home. It’s amazing how a relaxing warm bubble bath in the evening (or any time of day) can change your perspective on life. With the intention of feeling fabulous, turn on some relaxing music, light some scented candles, turn down the lights, and step into a warm, luxurious bath to take yourself away from the mundane for just a little while. Let your mind drift away from all your woes and troubles of the day and visualize the fabulous life that would really delight you! If you’re feeling extravagant, pour a glass of wine and indulge in a soothing facial mask. This is a wonderful, easy, and inexpensive way to celebrate your FABULOUS self.

  • ENVIRONMENT – Spruce up your surroundings. Nothing screams fine like old, faded throw pillows, tattered towels, and stacks of useless clutter. If you’re like most of us, you’ve accumulated closets, drawers, bookcases, and spaces filled with unused and usually unneeded stuff. Your surroundings have a direct effect on your sense of self and when you’re transitioning from fine to FABULOUS, you’re going to want to take a hard look at how you are really treating yourself. Schedule a day, a weekend, or an entire month dedicated to decluttering. You will find that the more you declutter and clean up your surroundings, the more you will declutter and clear up your mind. If you can’t bring yourself to part with “something you might need down the road” enlist the help of a “real” friend and hire a professional to help you discard the old and make room for something better.

  • PAMPER YOURSELF – One of my first coaches challenged me to treat myself to something special every time I reached a benchmark goal or experienced a breakthrough in my evolution. This one goes hand in hand with CELEBRATE but takes it a step further so at end of every 90 days, I would buy myself something special, take myself out for a glass of champagne, or book a special skincare treatment at my favorite spa. Taking a couple of hours out of my day to luxuriate in the care of a skilled esthetician like my friend Noreen Siao at her spa in Bellevue, WA always snaps me back into feeling FABULOUS at the end of a hectic day. Whether you love a spa treatment, an afternoon of shopping, or a special night out, take the time to invest in your FABULOUSNESS by pampering yourself.

  • GO BIG! Taking yourself away from your usual routine is sure to open up opportunities to help you move from fine to FABULOUS. Make it non-negotiable to take yourself away from the humdrum daily monotony and go someplace, even if it’s just the next town over. If this is a foreign concept, there’s hope. The first time took myself away I rented a tiny, dog-friendly Airbnb up on a nearby island and spent 3 glorious January days with my dog, walking on the beach, reading by the fire, journaling, and visualizing my future. I didn’t have much money back then, but I knew if I could get away, I could start moving my life in the direction I truly desired. And I knew I wanted my life to be FABULOUS. Now, I take at least two European trips per year along with others closer to home. I have built a network of FABULOUS friends globally who love and support me and I’m always open to the next adventure. If you’re looking for something really special to make you feel FABULOUS, check out my friend, Wendy Harrop and join her for a specially curated trip to the South of France!
  • BONUS TIP! Hire a Coach and accelerate your transformation into FABULOUS in time to kick off the holidays!

​Start TODAY by scheduling a free and confidential consultation with me and together we’ll explore how FABULOUS life can be for you!​


Michèle Heffron – Helping women get to the heart of who they are and what they’re meant for.

A certified life, relationship, and divorce coach who draws on her own life experiences with divorce, career transitions, money issues, and relationship dynamics to help other people navigate through their own life transitions. Michèle’s personal belief in the power of coaching is a living testament to what’s possible for us all when we simply let things go, ask for help, and open up our hearts to see what else is possible. Whether faced with something as monumental as a divorce, becoming an empty-nester, or simply looking for what’s next in life, Michèle guides her clients through the process of transformation by listening, asking questions (the kind your girlfriends would never ask), and provides a safe, nonjudgemental space for them to share and express feelings while they gain clarity about their path forward in their new life.Book a free consultation to learn more Michèle’s Calendar

Visit www.micheleheffron.com

Podcast: Getting to the Heart: Life, Relationships, Divorce

Love and Light,

Michèle

 

It’s Time for a New Agreement!

It’s Time for a New Agreement!

Before I even knew I was embarking on a journey of self-discovery and reinvention, I read a little book called The Four Agreements that made a significant impact on the trajectory of my life. I highly recommend this transformative gem to anyone who hasn’t yet been enlightened by the principles contained within its covers. I just finished reading again and, as with the first reading, came away with several nuggets of valuable insight.

I was reminded of the thousands of unwritten and unspoken agreements we have made throughout our lives—to ourselves as well to others—most of which are based on something we’ve either been taught, assumptions or fabrications we’ve made up on our own.

Where do these agreements come from?

Parents, siblings, teachers, bosses, friends and just about anyone else we listen to can plant these seeds that often grow into one of these unspoken agreements that frequently become beliefs.

And once our beliefs are set, we proceed through life as if it is our truth. The Four Agreements author, Don Meguel Ruiz, refers to this surrendering to our beliefs process as “the domestication of humans” where we learn how to live without questioning the source.

The fact is that many, if not most, of these beliefs are rather useless and can be detrimental to our growth, expansion, and the ability to consider what else might be going on here.

The Sowers of said seeds didn’t necessarily intend to contaminate our minds. Afterall, they were only doing what they, too, had learned along the journey of their own domestication.

What agreements do you have in place keeping you

from creating the life you desire?

Whether you are facing a major life transition, a divorce, or simply want more in life than what you’re experiencing, you can change.

It all starts with investigating the uninvestigated beliefs and perceptions, and asking yourself, “is what I believe TRUE for me?” “If not, How do I make that old agreement null and void and create a new agreement?

Anyone can do this, it may not be easy,

but it is possible.

If you’re ready to change some agreements in your life and could use some help, schedule a free consultation with me today and together we’ll explore what’s possible for you.

Love and Light,

Michèle