Have you ever considered just how much things change in your life over the course of time? Bit by bit, day by day, we become different people—that is if we choose to.

A thousand days ago, one of my mentor/coaches presented me with the 1000-day challenge.

What exactly is a 1000-day challenge?

Essentially, you create a vision of the life you desire unhindered by your own self-limiting beliefs. Some of the things you might say to yourself:

In 1000 days…

• Do I love who I’m being to myself and to others?
• How do I desire to show up?
• Do I love what I am doing and who I’m doing it with?
• Where do I live and with whom?
• What do my relationships feel and look like?

When I agreed to this challenge, the very notion of creating a vision of what I wanted seemed nearly impossible.

I was working as the Executive Director of a National Nonprofit in what I once imagined to be my dream job, but I was beginning to see how misaligned I was in that role. My father had recently died; and before there was time to grieve one loss, my mother was showing signs of a serious illness that ultimately took her life. I was in a relationship that, while fun and comfortable, didn’t seem to be going anywhere.

From the outside though, my life looked pretty good. I was in relatively good health, lived in a beautiful downtown high-rise, I had lots of friends, a loving companion—my goldendoodle, Izzy—and the ability and freedom to travel frequently to places I loved.

In my heart, however, I felt lost and a little alone. I knew I was meant for so much more.

While I felt a little unworthy about receiving more from life, I managed to eek out a vague narrative of my vision which included my career, my purpose, my income, my relationships, and more.

Day by day, the days have clicked by, and I’ve undergone much of the transformation I set out to experience. Not everything has come to fruition in the way I thought it would; mostly due to my small thinking and getting in my own way, but that’s another story.

As I wrap up 2024, my 1000 days has also come to an end. The amazing thing for me is that over the course of a 1000 days, my life is completely different then it was when I started and I now know how powerful my thoughts and intentions can be, if only I allow myself to dream big and believe.

I’m excited to start my next 1000-day challenge on January 1, 2025, and this time, I’m going really big!

I’d like to personally invite you to join me on this journey of a 1000 days and if you could use some extra support along the way, schedule your free consultation with me today and together we’ll explore what’s possible for you!

Love and Light,
​Michèle Heffron
​Getting to the Heart – Who You Are and What You’re Meant For

If you’re navigating a major life transition and aren’t sure where to start, I’m here to help. Let’s work together to uncover what’s possible for you in this new chapter. Schedule a free consultation with me today and take the first step toward creating a life that feels true to you.

​Schedule Your Free Consultation Now

Daydream

Daydream – I love this one and not usually on the selfcare go to list! July is the perfect time to sprawl out on the grass or a beach somewhere and stare at the sky. Allow your mind to wander. See where it takes you and maybe even journal about what comes up for you. Daydreaming about positive things, even when things seem terrible, is a good way to take a break.

Taking care of yourself, both mentally and physically, is crucial as you navigate life transitions. You’re not alone, and there is a path forward, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. If you know someone that could use a little boost of Self Care, please feel free to share this tip with them by hitting the button below.

Gaslighting is one of the most insidious forms of emotional abuse, often misunderstood and overlooked in relationships. This manipulative tactic can make the victim doubt their own reality, leading to severe emotional and psychological distress. Gaslighting doesn’t just appear in romantic relationships; it can permeate family dynamics, friendships, and professional environments. Understanding how gaslighting manifests and recognizing its signs is crucial, especially during the emotionally charged period of divorce. You’re not crazy or wrong if you see any of the following in your relationships:  

Denying Reality: “That Never Happened” 

One of the most common tactics of gaslighting is the outright denial of reality. A gaslighter will insist that an event or conversation never occurred, despite clear evidence to the contrary. This can leave the victim questioning their memory and perception. In a divorce, this denial can extend to significant issues such as financial agreements, incidents of abuse, or infidelities. 

Minimizing Feelings: “You’re Overreacting” 

Gaslighters often downplay the victim’s emotions, making them feel that their reactions are irrational or exaggerated. This minimization can be particularly damaging, as it invalidates the victim’s feelings and experiences. 

When expressing hurt or betrayal, a gaslighting partner might respond with, “You’re overreacting, it wasn’t that big of a deal.” In the context of a divorce, this can escalate feelings of inadequacy and confusion, making it difficult for the victim to assert their needs and boundaries. 

Shifting Blame: “It’s Your Fault” 

Blame-shifting is a hallmark of gaslighting. The gaslighter will consistently place responsibility for their actions onto the victim, making them feel guilty and responsible for the problems in the relationship. 

As a coach, I often see a spouse who has been unfaithful turn the tables during a divorce, accusing their partner of neglect or lack of affection as the reason for their infidelity. This then leads the victim to internalize guilt and question their own worth, further complicating the emotional landscape of the divorce. 

Using Confusion: “You’re Always So Confused” 

Creating confusion is a deliberate tactic used by gaslighters to destabilize their victims. By constantly contradicting themselves and creating a whirlwind of misinformation, they make it difficult for the victim to have a clear sense of reality. 

5. Isolation: “No One Else Will Understand”

Isolation is another powerful tool in the gaslighter’s arsenal. By convincing the victim that no one else will understand or believe them, they can cut them off from support networks, leaving them more vulnerable to manipulation. 

Personally, I think this is one of the most devious of strategies and I’ve seen it so many times over the years where a gaslighter will often flat-out refuse to attend family/work/friend’s functions. A gaslighter might tell their partner, “Your friends and family don’t really care about you or me. They’ll just think you’re being dramatic.”   

The depth of anguish and the feeling of emptiness that goes along with isolation is staggering and can be particularly devastating during a divorce when the victim needs external support the most. 

Beyond Romantic Relationships 

Gaslighting is not confined to romantic relationships. It can occur in any interaction where power dynamics are at play, including family relationships, friendships, and professional environments. 

• Family Dynamics: A parent might gaslight a child by denying abuse or neglect, making the child feel as though they’re imagining things or being overly sensitive. 

• Friendships: A friend might dismiss your feelings or experiences, making you doubt your perspective and feel like you’re being unreasonable. 

• Workplace: A boss or colleague might undermine your accomplishments or give you contradictory instructions, leading you to question your competence and professional abilities. 

Understanding gaslighting is the first step towards overcoming it. Recognize the patterns and trust your feelings. Seek support from trusted friends, family members, or professionals who can provide an outside perspective. Therapy and/or coaching can be incredibly beneficial in rebuilding self-esteem and clarity. 

During a divorce, having a clear, documented record of events and agreements can help counteract gaslighting tactics. Legal support can also provide a buffer against manipulation, ensuring that your rights and needs are adequately represented. 

Gaslighting is a powerful form of emotional abuse, but with awareness and support, its effects can be mitigated. Empower yourself with knowledge and surround yourself with a strong support system to reclaim your reality and well-being. 

If you or someone you know is ready to get help with a gaslighting partner, call or schedule a free consultation today.

Love and Light,

Michèle